his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
