Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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