Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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