I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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