Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Randomize
