would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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