He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize