so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
