Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
My penis needs a shock collar
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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