Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
