You're a womanizer and a bitch.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize