for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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