Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
