Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Randomize