Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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