Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
