I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Randomize
