I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Randomize
