you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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