Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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