some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
