do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
