Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
