highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
