it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
