i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize