Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
