Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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