I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
