I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
