Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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