after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
