just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
