There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
