i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
