i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
