You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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