the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
i drank out of a bidet.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
