He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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