you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
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