That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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