I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize