We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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