turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
