I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
