I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize