I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
