Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
So much rum. So many feels.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
