Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
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