Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Randomize
