actually, I'm a sock model
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
