you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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