Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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