Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize