Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
