Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
