That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
