We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
