kristin has been a bad kristin
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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